Chapter Text
Hermione was just fixing a last strand of hair on her head, smugly pursing her lips realising that it finally looked like she’d imagined it, when she heard Severus enter his private quarters. He slammed the door shut behind him and she turned to the bathroom door, her hands still raised when he stormed in.
Oh boy …
“I’m sorry I’m late,” he muttered, beginning to virtually rip the buttons of his frock coat open, his magic sizzling and supporting his efforts even without him holding his wand, “but some dunderheads called Gryffindors were stupid enough to not only break into the students’ supply room and brew a bloody emetic potion but also pour a generous amount of it into Slytherin’s pumpkin juices!” He shrugged out of his shirt and discarded it on the floor where his coat was already lying. “I had to spend the last two hours brewing an antidote and now I’m reeking as if I’d crawled through a bloody gutter! Bloody idiots! Could have easily killed someone … If Conifer leaves a single bloody point in that damned hourglass I swear to God, I -”
He fell silent when she turned him around a put a finger on his lips. “I’m sure, Glen will punish his students adequately,” she said, “And did you care for yours?”
He gulped, all starkers by now, only a sock still clasped in his hand and his gaze roaming across her face, her hair, and the silken chemise she was wearing. “Yes,” he rasped, “Some of them need to stay in the hospital wing tonight but … they’ll be fine.”
“Good. Do you prefer to go out another day and stay here tonight?”
“No,” he mumbled instantly and finally let go of his sock, “it’s your birthday, you deserve this dinner.”
“True,” she grinned, “but I’m a big girl and can cope with having my birthday dinner another day if you would rather stay in the castle with half your students being in the hospital wing.”
He shook his head. “They got the antidote and are sleeping now, Poppy threw me out.”
“Okay.” She leaned in and kissed him, the faint smell of vomit wafting up from the heap of clothes on the ground and maybe from his hair. “But take your time. I’m sure Rosmerta will understand if we’re going to be a bit late.”
He curled his lip, instantly returning to his anger. “Sure, she will – but she shouldn’t have to! How stupid do you have to be to -”
Here we go again. She sighed silently and manoeuvred him towards the loo, forcing him to sit down.
“What are you doing?”
“Well, what do you think I’m doing? You need to wind down before we leave because if you don’t, you will be in a foul mood the whole evening long and I won’t take that! It’s my birthday! I want a nice, pleasant, lovely evening, so I will make you wind down.” She went to her knees, spreading Severus’ legs.
“Here?!” he objected, “On the toilet?”
She lowered her voice. “If I drag you back to bed for this we won’t leave it again tonight, love.”
He smirked despite himself.
Smug little bastard … “Just don’t touch my hair, okay? I needed an hour - and half a bottle of Sleekeazy's Hair Potion! - to get it right, and if you ruin it now …”
He rolled his eyes and even though his co*ck was twitching with interest only from seeing her kneeling in front of him, he tried to clasp his legs back together. “Don’t bother,” he sighed, “I just need a shower to get rid of this smell and -”
Once again she put her finger on his lips. “First of all: You don’t smell.” She leaned up and gave him a proper snog, mainly to not let him see the tiny white lie in her eyes. But really, if she hadn’t known what it was she would have thought one of his students had botched up a potion, she’d long got used to that. And her plan worked: When she let go of him again, she saw him half-hard from the corner of her eye. Properly distracted from any bouts of Legilimency. “And second,” she, therefore, added straight ahead, “Please let me do this for you. You know that I’m right.”
He gulped. “Possibly …”
She arched an eyebrow. Possibly my arse … His mood was rotten and he wouldn’t even get through the appetiser without another rant.
“But I can just as well wank under the shower.”
“Well, yes, you can do that …” She drew out her words. “But you sure as hell will enjoy this more.”
He drew his hand down his face sighing, then he rubbed his eyes until they were red. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes.” To support her words, she reached for his co*ck and stroked it until it was hard and reared up proudly between his tensed-up thighs. Ugh, so hot …
And that he was sitting on the toilet only added a nice thrill to the situation. A trickle of excitement travelled down her spine and nestled up in her crotch. It was just … such an intimate position. Even after all those times they’d relieved themselves in front of each other they normally didn’t watch each other on the toilet. Granted, sometimes she sneaked in to have a wee when Severus was showering but apart from that … She couldn’t remember seeing him sit on the toilet ever before, let alone all starkers and hard, waiting for her to take him into her mouth.
That, the emptiness underneath his buttock, and the thought of what they were normally doing here fell like a spark on straw and turned the trickle into a flame of arousal.
Maybe I’ll need a wind down as well before we leave …
But first Severus.
She slowly stroked up his thighs and grinned at him when he moaned in defeat. While he leaned his head back against the wall, she leaned forward to give the red tip of his co*ck a welcoming lick. The heady, bitter aroma of him exploded on her tongue, rendering her physically incapable of suppressing a tiny mewl of pleasure.
Severus huffed softly. But when she opened her mouth and took him in as far as she felt comfortable, her nose almost dipping into his wiry curls that were emitting the sublime aroma of being trapped in his briefs for a long and busy workday already, intense and musky, his huff turned into a gasp and a muttered, “f*ck!”
It didn’t take long after that for his hands to seek out her head – despite her telling him he should not touch her damned hair!
Did I speak Gobbledegook?!
She drew her teeth across his velvety skin when she let him slip out of her mouth again, a tiny bit harder than she normally would but not painfully so, and snatched his hands, entangling their fingers to keep his away from her hard-earned hairdo.
“Sorry,” Severus panted.
She groaned in response before returning to her licking and sucking. Her mouth was watering, providing her with the right lube to bob her head up and down his length, and judging by Severus’ twitching fingers between hers, he was tremendously enjoying what she was doing.
Ugh, she’d have loved to massage his balls as well, maybe even slip a finger into his backdoor …
But he couldn’t be trusted today.
Hollowing out her cheeks, Hermione virtually sucked some pre-cum from him, making him pant and his thighs twitch. “Gods, yes,” he mumbled, grasping her hands tighter and slightly bucking his hips to meet her movements. And when she slowly circled the tip of her tongue around the tip of his co*ck, first following the furrow where his drawn-back foreskin emanated from and then prodding against the small hole of his urethra, a shudder rippled through his body, causing him to curse under his breath and twist his face into a beautiful mask of torturous lust. Severus blinked and looked at her blearily. “You were right, this is exactly what I needed now …”
Told you so …
But she didn’t bother to tell him; her eyes would do the trick and his tiny snort and half-smile confirmed that.
Hermione doubled up her efforts, relishing in the sounds of affirmation her doings were eliciting from Severus’ mouth. All of them fuelled her own desire and she shifted her legs, trying to get her heel as close to her cl*t as possible but to no avail. She simply wasn’t flexible enough for that kind of acrobatics.
So she simmered in her own mounting need while she was working on letting Severus’ peak when – once again – a sequence of events unfolded right before her eyes.
First: Severus suddenly tensed up fiercely, accompanied by a distraught sounding, “f*ck! No! Bloody -”
Disrupted by, second: A peculiar sounding splash in the toilet and -
Third: Him coming, all of a sudden and with an adorable cry somewhere between desperate and wrecked.
Wrecked from an unexpectedly intense bout of lust, though, judging by the amount of cum he spurted down her throat and the pain his fingers caused her when he clamped them into the back of her hand. Hermione didn’t succeed in swallowing all of his cum down, some of it ran down the length of his co*ck and dripped into the toilet from where the telltale aroma of sh*t was wafting up.
“f*ck,” he panted again when he came down from his climax, “I’m sorry! I didn’t - … f*ck!”
Hermione grinned and brushed some spit and cum from her chin when she released his co*ck and slumped back on her heels. “Never mind, love. At this point I’m fine with about everything your body’s doing, I guess. Especially when it makes you come so hard …”
He huffed. “It really did …” he mumbled, still seeming a bit shaken by what had just transpired.
And when he met her eyes, Hermione moaned and bit down hard on her lip. “That was … kind of hot, to be honest.”
He arched his eyebrow. “Interested in trying it yourself?”
Oh, sh*t! She hadn’t even thought about that! “Yes,” she whispered, “but not now.”
He hummed. “But you do need a … wind down as well, don’t you?”
“Yes,” she mewled and grasped his hands when he held them out for her. As soon as she was on her feet, he pushed up the chemise she was wearing and hooked his fingers into the waistband of her soaked knickers. He held her gaze while he helped her step out of them, and he still did so when he pressed his nose into the fabric and inhaled deeply.
“Delicious,” he commented and pulled her down onto his lap, her legs left and right of his thighs. She gasped when his fingers found her sopping entrance and slipped into her. “Tell me what you want me to do.”
She moaned, clinging to his shoulders. “Make me squirt,” she whispered, rocking against his fingers, “and …”
“And?” His eyes, glued to her bosom, twitched up to meet hers.
“And … poop some more, if you can.”
A grin curved his lips. “My my, what a dirty mind is hiding behind this beautiful face …” Then he began moving his fingers in and out of her, fiercely massaging her G-spot, and Hermione leaned down to plunder his mouth.
She whimpered when he took a deep breath, hissing audibly through his nose, and pressed down to try and see to her wishes. God, this was so hot! Just hearing and feeling him work on releasing another turd, imagining how his anus was bulging out from the pressure … So good!
Rolling her hips against him, she drank up every strained sound he was giving her, and when one of those sounds became a trembling gasp and his thumb suddenly began teasing her cl*t, Hermione held her breath, anticipating another splash from underneath them soon.
And Severus didn’t disappoint.
The second log he was able to squeeze out gave a loud plop when it fell into the water, causing little droplets to spray against her arse. Hermione whined from how much that turned her on and with the next thrust of Severus’ fingers and the next circle of his thumb against her cl*t, she came undone, her nails biting into his shoulders and her fanny leaking enough squirt to let it sound as if she was pissing.
Severus moaned, f*cking her even harder now to draw out her org*sm. He was watching her raptly, as she noticed when she blinked, and reached out to tuck a single strand of hair that had come undone behind her ear. “Perfect,” he assessed.
She smiled and leaned down to kiss him while Severus withdrew his fingers from her and grabbed her thigh, smearing her juices on her skin.
“Fancy a tiny dessert?” he rumbled when she let go of him.
“I’m always up for desserts.”
He grinned and shortly after, the pattering of piss filled the bathroom.
Ugh … She shuddered on his lap and meeting his gaze, she tried to convince her confused fanny to let go as well. It took her so long that Severus was almost finished. But when she finally succeeded and her piss met his co*ck, he took a hitching breath and his hips bucked slightly.
“f*ck,” he mumbled, leaning his forehead against her breastbone and breathing down her décolleté. “If we had more time I would get the potion,” he informed her when she was done as well.
She grinned. “Good things it’s Friday. We’ll have a lot of time to get back to that later tonight.”
“Deal,” he murmured and drew her down for another kiss. Then he gave her buttock a clap. “And now get off me and let me shower, else Rosmerta will give our table away after all.”
“Probably,” she admitted but hated dismounting him nevertheless. When Severus stood up as well, she couldn’t help peering into the toilet, though. Two turds bathed in yellow, one already half slipped down the pipe, the other, tinier one curling above it. Mh … After their play the other day she itched to touch it …
Well, another time, and so she flushed the toilet.
When she looked up and met Severus’ gaze, he blinked as if he’d been lost in thought for the past seconds. “Are you all right?”
“Yes,” he said and smiled fleetingly, “I’ll …” He nodded at the shower and after sharing a last kiss, he disappeared behind the milky door.
Hermione smiled. And after cleaning herself up and washing her hands, she checked her hair in the mirror. Except for the one strand Severus had tucked behind her ear, everything was still in place. And that one loose strand combined with what Severus had called her post-org*smic blush actually refined her look. She grinned and left the bathroom to get dressed.
They would have a lovely evening, she decided while she put on a fresh pair of black lace knickers and her thigh highs, eat a delicious dinner, have a drink or two, and chat. And maybe, during dessert, she would slip out of her high heel and tease Severus underneath the table, getting him all hard and heated up enough that he would hastily ask for the bill before he came then and there, earning them both a house ban. And maybe he would take her against some wall in a dark alley in Hogsmeade afterwards, only hidden by a hurriedly cast spell and his hand fast over her mouth to keep her from crying out loudly, because there would be no way he would make it back to the castle with the hard-on she’d caused him.
She bit her lip when her fanny clenched from only imagining this. Yes, that sounded like an absolutely perfect birthday dinner.
